“Guys, guys, I got a postcard from Spike!”
“No waaaaaayyyy."
It was midday in the GSA cafeteria, during the cusp of June and July, and all of the spellbreakers had completely tuned out from training. Content to consume their daily macros, sore from all of Colt’s strict training regiment, the summer slump had come down like a Shattering Spirit Senton from Kuma Kengo. Incidentally, it was the friendly sumo (and new medical student) who burst into the cafeteria announcing the latest correspondence from his old roommate.
Everyone seemed excited about this news–evn Cian. Everyone, except for the tall, grouchy, red-skinned oni in the corner of the room. Sitting and eating by himself. Akanemaru glared at the noise and returned to his food, an unusual slab of meat wedged between two pieces of bread that the humans called ‘burger’.
Ugh, why can’t they just give me a piece of cow straight off the bone? This is some weak shit. Full of contempt for his strange situation, Akanemaru sunk his fangs into the overcooked piece of meat, lettuce, and tomato (ew). AND IT’S WELL DONE!?
These humans were strange. In the last week or so, Akanemaru had noticed a gradual shift in his peers–who he mostly avoided–unless he was punching or throwing them.The best fighters of the bunch appeared to be more tranquil and laid back than usual. The cafeteria hadn’t seen a fight in at least two weeks. Even Cian’s headscissors had less ‘umph’ than normal (to the betterment of everyone’s collar bones). Other trainees had begun eagerly discussing plans and ‘trips’--which all seemed pretty weird to Aka, as why would anybody look forward to falling over? The warmer weather that had blanketed San Antonio (a part of the world too hot for Aka’s liking) had also brought on this peculiar yearning for summer.
Of course, this was only one such thing about this modern era that confused the ever-loving-shit over the red demon, who scowled as other trainees passed his lonesome table. When Colt and Kengo had found him, sealed in a cave in the Sea of Trees, he had been there for hundreds of years–centuries of isolation and not knowing how the world had changed since his imprisonment.
Then, less than a few months after being welcomed back into ‘modern times’, some weird ‘Time Mage’ beefcake pulled another fast one and tossed everyone into the future. A future of mullets, denim jackets, noisy machinery, and weird music. Just when Aka had begun to grasp the ways and whiles of modernity, all of it changed again, leaving him in the dark.
Yet again.
I should have stayed in that fucking cave, Aka thought, curiously prodding the strange, wiggly, green object on his plate that the cafeteria lady had called jello. A lifetime in the shadows was far preferable to trying to sort out the world that humans called nineteen-eighty-five.
Still, Akanemaru–the red oni with the white hair–was a creature of instinct, and he knew when to listen in on a conversation. Usually, most of the other spell breaking trainees were whispering about him….how scary he looked, or commenting on his horn. Or, most confusingly, how some giggled saying how much they hoped he might ‘break them in half’, a wish Aka would be glad to grant if not for the magic contract binding him to Colt and preventing him from enacting life-threatening violence.
“Give it here, bro,” the empty-headed beefcake named Robbie ‘Icewolf’ said, looking up from his plate of waffles (which Aka understood to be strictly a breakfast food).
Across from the ice magi, Cian Enbarr–who had begun to grow his hair out longer ‘to keep up with the trends’--feigned half-hearted interest. “Has Vahni strangled him in his sleep yet? I can’t believe those two are actually dating now.”
Robbie turned his head to Cian and pouted. “And I can’t believe we’re not dating.”
Under his breath, Sanjay, the earth magi sitting on the other side of Robbie, muttered, “I can.”
“It says here that he is coming for a visit soon,” Kengo said, happily.
“Hopefully he can join us for Beach Days,” the masked Blue Dragon, opposite Sanjay, said.
Akanemaru threw down his food, chewing contemptuously. Beach Days? What the hell is that? Probably another stupid thing I won’t be invited to…
“I still need to get a swimsuit for that, I guess,” Cian muttered to himself. He propped his chin on his hand and thought about the last time he’d gone to the beach. “And I’ll need a high enough SPF too…”
Robbie perked up at the thought. “I…I can help you with that, my red-headed Celtic warrior god. How about a brief style cut?” Robbie proposed. “Or…OR….a forest green thong.” At the thought, Robbie’s eyes spiraled into the back of his head, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth. “Yeah…”
Cian turned bright red. “I…I’m not wearing no thong, boyo! I’m sticking to trunks.”
“The last time El Amante wore a thong to Beach Days,” Blue Dragon started, “the whole beach had to be cleared because of the ‘incident’.”
Lost in lustful reverie, Robbie was only partially listening. “What incident?” he asked.
But before anybody else could respond, the glowing shape of a star appeared just over Robbie. It hung in the air for a fraction of a second, before anybody could warn him, and landed on his head with a satisfying plunk, breaking into stardust.
“GAH!” Robbie steamed, waving the glitter away from his face. “What the hell, bro! Who the hell wants to pick a fight with the Ice Cold Kill…oh.” Robbie froze. “Er, hi Iggy.”
Everyone at the ‘Team Spike’ table froze. Standing tall and glamorous, with a tray of food in their hands (painted neon pink and green) Iggy Astro sneered at his friends/enemies/lovers. Of all the Spellbreakers who’d adjusted to the times, Iggy had been the most successful. They were well-suited to the 1980s fashions, with their pink leather jacket, teased out hair, and skin-tight leopard print pants. The rock and roll god didn’t play around.
And, of all the spellbreakers in the school, Iggy was the only one to catch Akanemaru’s attention. Or even acknowledge his existence.
“You little boys could never pull off a thong,” Iggy said, with a glittery toss of their immaculate hair. “Not like a true Brazilian, anyway.” He licked his lips, villainously at the bunch. “Then again, seeing a little pastel de queijo like Cian in such a skimpy little number could definitely grab my attention.”
Cian gulped, feeling like a pig about to be put on a spit. “I…I am just going to stick to my baggy swim trunks, thanks.”
Iggy laughed, wickedly. “I don’t know, perhaps we should all make a bet. Whoever loses it has to wear something I pick out for them.” The idea made the colorful heel shiver with anticipation. “Something humiliating, but sexy. Anyways, Kengo–”
The shy sumo flinched. “Y-yes?”
It was only Akanemaru who noticed the subtle shift in Iggy’s expression, from mischievous to thoughtful. “Glad to know the twink is still in one piece.” Iggy moved along, but with the promise of more deviance to come…
As Akanemaru pondered how the hell he was going to eat the rest of this weird, human crap (Colt demanded he keep up with his nutrition) he looked up to see the flamboyant, sadistic spellbreaker take a seat across from him…without so much as asking!
Iggy yawned. “Super kick training is always boring as hell,” he said, as if he could just start a conversation with him!
Aka’s eyes bugged out. “Wh–what the hell are you doing?” Then, his eyes fell on the food item piled onto Iggy’s plate. Refried beans.
Survival instincts kicked into Aka at once, and he found his back against the cafeteria wall. “Agh! Get that poisonous shit away from me.”
Deeply confused, Iggy blinked. “You…don’t like beans?”
“Oni are afraid of them,” Kengo called back from the other table.
Get it together, big red. “Gah, it’s New Years Day trauma all over again.”
Iggy scowled at him. Yet, to Aka’s surprise, the temperamental heel picked up his plate and threw it over his shoulder, where it zoomed past the other table and nearly missed hitting White Tiger in the head.
“Who is throwing beans? Nobody throws beans at the champion!”
“Ignore him,” Iggy said. “We’re more important.”
Aka narrowed his eyes at Iggy, and thought of telling him to ‘piss off’, but truthfully the oni didn’t have the energy after throwing weaklings around the ring earlier. “Are you engaging in what you humans call…’small talk’”
“Oh, nothing is small about my talk. When Iggy Astro graces you with their presence, prepare to be entertained.” The spellbreaker shrugged. “I just have a thing for freaks. Like myself.”
“YOU CALLIN’ ME A FREAK, FREAK?” Aka froze, upon realizing that Iggy had already counted himself among Aka’s kind.
Surprising the oni most of all, this pink-haired warrior of indeterminate gender identification brushed off the oni’s bluster as if it was nothing. “You’re the most interesting new hire in a very long time. And I like interesting people.”
This was suspicious. But, Aka had to admit—this Iggy Astro was either very stupid, or very brave. He scratched his head. “...Right. So…uh…everyone is talking about Spike, I guess.”
“Blegh–I wish they wouldn’t,” Iggy said, making a face. “Heh. But the brat is my mentee after all, so I guess it’s nice to hear he’s doing alright. Even if he did pick the wrong heel to boyfriend up.”
“And…this Spike is your leader, yeah?”
Iggy looked like he had been slapped in the face. “What…on Earth gave you that idea?”
Maybe pinkie here really is dense! “Well, he’s always sitting on his opponent’s faces after battle, duh. In my culture, we assert dominance by doing the same.”
Iggy’s cheeks tinged roughed. He pressed his fingers to their lips and chuckled mischievously. “I… strongly approve of your culture, but no. I’m sure Spike thinks he’s the main character, but everyone knows that’s me.”
They’re looking at me like a piece of meat. I don’t like looking like prey! “Well, Astro, you’re the least annoying of all the bunch, so maybe you can tell me what the hell these Beach Days are and why everyone is so godsdamn excited about them.”
Iggy shrugged. “For one week of the year, during the dog days of summer, Big Daddy Colt funds a big beach trip with all sorts of activities for us spellbreakers.” Iggy popped a french fry into their mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Usually it’s just an excuse for everyone to let off some steam and get the horny out of their system. All those muscles boys (and girls, and theys) running around in swimwear, you know. Plus, we do challenges and games and stuff. I hate to admit it, but it’s kind of fun. Usually, Deadboy and I just sit back and pull pranks on everyone. Itching powder in the swimsuits. Severed hand in the beer cooler. You know, the classics.”
Aka stared blankly at Iggy as if he had spoken actual Brazilian Portuguese to him.
Iggy waved his hand. “It’s usually Deadboy’s re-attachable hand, but still. Besides all that, it seems the President of the USA is threatening to raise import taxes on Texas–which could become an issue for Colt–so I think everyone is kinda just over it and needs a break.”
“Hmmm.” Aka scratched his chin. “I do not understand. Why do people not simply eat this Ronald Regan, if they hate him so much? I mean, that’s what us oni would do. You humans overcomplicate things too damn much. When we see an asshole in our midst, we break his face.” Aka pounded his fist into his hand, and shrugged. “Or her face. We oni ain’t misogynists either.”
“Aka, you have the heart of anarchist! I like your style. Perhaps you and I might combine forces and train sometime.” Done with their food, Iggy stood, stretched, and burped loudly (which impressed Akanemaru all the more). “Anyways, consider this me formally inviting you to Beach Days. And…I don’t mean to frighten you, vermelho, but you may actually have fun for once.” With that, Iggy winked and strutted away from the table, leaving Akanemaru alone again.
Alone, however, but with a mildly different attitude than before. Akanemaru scratched his head. Did…did I just have a conversation with someone? Hmm. Beach Days. That could be….fun? I guess?
Then, noticing Kengo and Robbie’s table gawking at him, Aka turned and snarled in their direction. “AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PUNKS GAWPING AT!? I’M GONNA SHOVE THOSE TRAYS UP YOUR ASSES.”
—-
“Alright, Big Red, go for it!”
With a permanent frown on his face, the large oni took direction from his boss–whether he liked it or not–and held his hand in the direction of the enormous fissure in the asphalt. The damage was relatively new, and for once, not the end result of an overzealous spellbreaker. It had been caused by a combination of earth shift and hot sun.
With his arms crossed his slick chest, Colt (wearing a white, undershirt that looked ready to snap its straps at the slightest flex) nodded to the broken pavement.
“Hm.” It had been awhile since Akanemaru tapped into his earth magick, but it came back to him with ease. The ground beneath Colt and Aka’s feet started trembling…
“Easy now,” Colt grunted. “We don’t want to make it worse. A little dab’ll do ya.”
Aka didn’t appreciate being critiqued by the smelly human who his soul was mortally bound to, but the cowboy in charge had a point. Aka eased up on the tectonic juice, and focused on gently nudging one side of the broken earth towards the other. I don’t like doing anything gentle…this sucks.
Slowly, but sure, the seam in their earth tightened, leaving a scar behind in the space between the asphalt leading out of the GSA compound.
Aka dropped his shoulders, satisfied with his word, and wiped the sweat from his brow. “Are ya happy now?” he barked at Colt.
By the looks of it, Colt was. He nodded affirmatively. “Are you? A few minutes ago you were griping about how rusty you were with your earthquake abilities. Looks like mighty fine work to me, son.” Colt considered patting Akanemaru on his shoulder, but he thought twice about doing so.
“Don’t tell me what makes me h–” Akanemaru, then he stopped. “Forget it.”
“We’ll get the Wheelers to come by with some pitch and asphalt and patch up the rest,” Colt said, looking over the work. “Phew, it’s a hot one. I hear Iggy convinced you to come with us to Beach Days. You’ll behave, right?”
Aka glared at Colt for even suggesting the contrary. He turned away. “I’m goin’ back to the gym. I need to lift shit.”
“Hm? No snarky comeback, Aka? Well, gee, now I am a little worried about ya.”
“You humans need to mind your business.”
“We humans show consideration, care, and concern when someone we like is hurtin’.”
Akanemaru froze in his tracks. Maybe it was the harsh sun, but something was getting to him. “What do you mean, you ‘like’ me?” He laughed at the thought. “You puny twerps run from the sight of me, half the time.”
“Well, it might help if you stop tossing our trainees out of the ring during your matches. That’s mighty fine heel work, but when we’re training, you could stand to go maybe 40%.”
Akanemaru growled. “I don’t get you humans. Anyways, fighting and beating punks up is all I thought I’d be doing. Now, I guess it’s kinda boring and…” Aka sighed.
Colt patiently waited. He’d dealt with worse Texas summers than this. He could stand another minute in the sun–or conjure up a raincloud if need be.
“Empty,” Akanemaru said. He was glad his back was turned on Colt. He didn’t want to show this master of fighting any weakness.
“Son, you just need to find something that makes you happy. Set a goal. That’s what we humans do. Our lives are painfully short, so we usually find a dream and try to make it come true for ourselves.” Colt stretched his arms to his home. “This is my dream.”
“Well, that’s all good for you, then,” Akanemaru pouted. Reluctantly, he turned around to face Colt again. “Look, boss, this shit is weird for me.” He tugged at his T-shirt, an extra large Rangers T-shirt that Colt had pawned off on him. “Wearing human clothes. Eating human food. It’s all…new.”
“Of course. That’s why some of us are trying to get to know you. But you can’t bare your fangs at those of us who are well intended.”
Akanemaru narrowed his eyes. “In my tribe, we treat kindness with suspicion. It may mean you want something. Or you’re trying to pull a fast one.”
“Well, sometimes humans operate on mutual exchanges that benefit both parties. We’re family here at the GSA, Akanemaru. We’re going to try right by you.”
As Akanemaru tried to make meaning of this funny, muscle-man’s words, he heard a low drone from up the road. He turned his head towards the sound, accordingly. “Boss, I think some sorta’ monster is comin’ for us.”
The big oni jumped in front of Colt and threw out his arm. “Get behind me, wizard. You have fighters to raise. Don’t worry about me. I meet death head on.” Akanemaru grinned, manically. “And today feels like a damn good day to die.” Tendrils of lightning shot up from the big, muscular oni’s body, teasing up his hair.
Colt rolled his eyes. “Ease up, hoss. That ain’t no monster.”
“Huh?” Akanemaru stared at the road, noticing the dot on the horizon grow larger and larger. It was some sort of machine, or creature, with wheels. Dust trailed behind it. Eventually, the ‘thing’ came to a stop not far from Colt and Akanemaru, the latter of whom stared at the motorcycle–and its driver–in wonder.
The human female in the leather jacket tugged off the black helmet. Her hair was short, like a man’s–Aka thought. “Howdy!” the young woman called back, dismounting from her machine. She pulled the sack off her back and handed it to Colt. “Hey Tex. Got more fliers for the summer show.”
“Thanks, Stef,” Colt said to the woman. He addressed Akanemaru. “Stef here is one of our new hires. Helps out behind the scenes. Ever since, Buck…” But Colt trailed off, rather than finish his sentence.
The chipper, broad-shoulder woman stared up at Akanemaru. “Wow, impressive. You gotta’ be one of the new guys.”
Akanemaru didn’t know what to think of her, or the strange machine she’d rode in on. “What…what is that fascinating beast you have tamed, sorceress?”
Confused, the woman looked to Colt for answers.
“I…think he means your chopper.” He cleared his throat, and whispered, “Aka here is kinda’ new…to everything.”
“Oh!” Stef jerked her thumb towards her bike. “That’s my motorcycle.” Her eyes sparked with curiosity. “You…wanna give it a try and ride with me? I’m sure it can support even a big guy like you.”
It had been some time since Akanemaru had felt this strange–but not unwelcome–sensation inside his chest. What a magical thing this ‘motorcyle’ was. How quickly it carried this warrior goddess on its back. Such freedom and movement it promised.
“I…” Akanemaru began. Then, a weird thing happened to his face. “Hell yeah, I do!”
Colt’s jaw dropped. “Aka…are you…are you smiling?”
“Phhhh,” Aka said, brushing Colt off, and screwing his face back on straight. “As if. But yeah, I;ll give that moto sickle a go.” And, before Akanemaru could stop himself, he said, “And sign me up for those stupid Beach Days too, Colt.”
Maybe this ‘summer break’ everyones talking about isn’t such a bad idea after all…
To Be Continued
