Showing posts with label King Anubis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label King Anubis. Show all posts

Friday, April 7, 2023

Chapter 8: The Champions

"The rules are simple. This title fight will be a gauntlet style match...five men against yours truly. I have selected the contenders based on merit, personal analysis, and plot relevancy. I will bestow upon the winner, not merely the World Championship Belt, but the right to shape my 'world to come' to their desires..."

King Anubis, robed in gold, sat atop his gilded throne--studded with lapis--that he'd conjured up with the Glyph of Genesis. It was pyramidal, tiered dais, tall enough to necessitate a small flight of stairs leading to the top, where its master passed judgment on the wide-eyed fighters below. Anubis had embedded the glyph, a tangible relic of pure energy, into the throne's ankh shaped headboard, right in the center of the infinite loop.

Above the arena, the sky had turned bloody red and stormy. Silver bolts of lightning wove throughout the cloud cover. Below, however, the audience stands were silent. Aradia's task force, Lily and Slayer included, had evacuated the frightened audience and spirited them to safety. 

Not wanting any further interference, King Anubis--Salim Netjeer to most of the angry and frightened men and women standing around his superior throne--had used the power of the Genesis glyph to create a dome of 'frozen time' around the battlefield. He had effectively severed the spellbreakers from the outside world. Nobody could get in. Nobody could get out.

Which gave this final battle as much time as the immortal spellbreaker needed. 

Colt was the first to step forward, ignoring John Henry's concerned glances. "You big bastard," he seethed. "Salim. I trusted you. This...master plan of yours..." Colt gestured to the broken cobblestones, torn up from the combination of Koschei and King Anubis' powers. Only the ring remained upright and wholly intact. "It stinks. Nobody deserves to be king of the damn world. Not even me. You used us!"

Behind his jackal-headed mask, King Anubis looked down at Colt with stern, but gentle, eyes. "Never. Oh, mighty King Colt, do not look upon me with such disdain. I have always respected you and your team. But fair is fair, and you did not qualify for this gauntlet."

"SCREW YOUR DAMM CHAMPIONSHIP!" Colt said, jumping straight into the air and conjuring a lightning bolt from above. He threw the bolt of electricity at his foe.

Who had, suddenly, vanished from the throne.

Before Colt could turn his head around, King Anubis was at his back. "Boo!" he said.

Colt doubled over in pain, spitting out onto the cobblestones. However King had struck him from behind, he'd dealt a near-crippling blow.

"COLT!" Spike yelled, charging forward. John Henry went to hold him back, but the boy was too revved up. 

King Anubis merely held out his giant hand, holding Spike back by the forehead as the fighter (half the giant's size, or more) wildly swung with his fists. "How adorable," Salim said. "And adorable. This is why I chose you, Spike. Your heroism is truly something to behold." King Anubis pointed to Colt. "Observe. I can destroy. And...I can heal."

With a sickening crack, Colt's broken back repaired itself, putting the cowboy upright. He breathed out. "...Goddess...damn."

"Sleep," King Anubis said, waving his hand in front of Colt's face. The spellbreaker collapsed to the ground, unconscious. King Anubis turned to his stunned audience. "Now, if anybody else would care to try breaking my rules..." He pushed Spike away. The young fighter landed on the ground, more emotionally than physically hurt.

In a blink, King Anubis was back on his throne, head resting on his chin, looking down at his new subjects. "Koschei, or Semyon, or Rasputin...I honestly stopped keeping track...wanted to subjugate the world and make it a place where only the strong survived. Pathetic. Is that not the world we already live in today?"

The spellbreakers, all weary and worn out from Koschei draining their magick, looked upward at their new master with scornful glances. Deadboy, holding his Auntie and Uncle close to his side, was already concocting how to dispatch him. That power of his, though, was unlike any dark magick he'd witnessed before.

"In primitive times, men weakly attempted proving their superiority by comparing the size of their manhood. We have not come far, since then. Now? It's nuclear missiles. When I went to sleep, long ago, I had hoped to wake up in a world where mankind had evolved. Instead? I was awoken to be used as a tool of war. Well..." 

King Anubis sat up and motioned to the scenery around him. "Indeed, I will end the world. And create a better one in its stead. Magick has bent and ruled this timeline for far too long, twisting fate into knots. Reality is self correcting. This is why we stand on the brink of nuclear annihilation--because this timeline cannot exist, as it stands. I will rewrite it, and eliminate those who sought to subjugate, harm, and control. I can think of no better judgment than this."

Spike pulled himself off the ground. "You keep saying you want to give us a 'favorable outcome'. But...wouldn't that erase tons of people? Make it so they never existed?"

"And would the world be so bad if Hitler never existed?"

"...Who?"

"Exactly." King Anubis stood. Everyone instinctively took a step back. "Every timeline has it's 'a-holes'. In this one, it was the Albans. But you best be sure, it could have been Koschei next, or the Alchemists. I have seen many possible futures unravel, even ones where nuclear annihilation is not the outcome. Fifty years for now, or more, I have glimpsed the fate of the world. Terrorism. Countries ruled by idiot bullies. Plagues killing millions by the day." King Anubis clenched his fist and trembled with rage. "Twitter!

"None of that can be avoided if this reality is permitted to persist. That said, I am a merciful god. Best me in spellbreaking, and I will allow the victor to mold the world to come to their liking." The giant paused. "When I call your name, please step forward. Cian. Spike. Rage. Tiger. Iron."

The spellbreakers in question looked at each other, warily.

"The rest of you...are safe. You may leave the runway." King Anubis suddenly placed his hand to his mask and giggled childishly. "Okay, okay, I know you won't get that reference, but I just had to do it. Anyways, it's time for you five men...to lip-synch for your life. By which I mean, fight me."

As Kin Anubis spoke these words, he reached up and yanked off his robe, revealing a massive body, veiny and rippling with muscle. The man, or monster, could easily dwarf most professional bodybuilders. Everyone gasped, even John Henry--the beefiest of them all.

Spike almost fell to his knees, drooling. "Holy s***! Woof!"

Cian smacked him up the side of the head. "Spike, he's trying to take over the world."

"Duh! Well, who doesn't love a baddie?"

"That's the spirit, Spikey!" King Anubis said. "But you weren't paying attention. I am not trying to take over the world. I am trying to give you a better one. My vibe is...er...more morally gray than black and white. Keeps things interesting."

"You don't have the right to that much power," Joseph said, pushing past Spike. "Nobody does! Your intentions may be more altruistic than Semyon's, but you're robbing the entire world of autonomy. All of us have the power to shape the world. We're doing it every day."

Kin Anubis lowered his head. "Yeah. And you're all doing a s*** job of it. I'm not going to be preached to by some Bruce Lee pretty-boy in ballerina tights."

Joseph winced. "Ouch. Ok, look, I get that tensions are a bit high right now, but maybe we can come to some sort--"

"BORING!" King Anubis said. "That's what I hare about your faces. You're so damn BORING."

Joseph's eyes flashed white, and the wind around his feet spiralled up around him like a cyclone. "Allow me to make things more interesting, then. You are no god, despite what your magick may have led you to believe. If you want a fight, you'll have one. I will dismantle you."

Spike had never seen Joseph filled with such righteous fury. Even Vahni Rage looked slightly put off.

"Nobody should live as long as you and Semyon," Joseph continued, as King Anubis waited patiently. "Look what it does to people."

"Now that's more like it!" King Anubis laughed. "But spellbreakers, be forewarned...should you succumb to my finisher, I will take a YEAR off your life, and make myself even stronger."

Joseph and Rage looked at each other and shrugged. "I mean, just a year? That doesn't sound so bad?" Rage said.

"Ugh." King Anubis hung his head. "Seriously? Not even a little scared? Sheesh. You go through all this trouble to usher in the apocalypse and nobody takes you seriously. NEVERTHELESS, MORTALS! I will give you an hour to prepare. To strategize. To make peace with your Goddess. Whatever you choose to do. But don't even think of trying to escape, or thwarting me by means of magick or trickery. This is a spellbreaking tournament. You want to settle your score with me? Settle it in the ring." 

---

Spike: Why are yous guys looking at me like that! I had nothing to do with this.

Tiger: You've been in the GSA for a year, but he selects you as one of the final contenders? Weren't you disqualified?

Cian: I mean, so was I at one point. I don't think Spike meant any harm, Joseph.

Mr. Iron: You just know things are serious when Cian is the one defending Spike.

Rage: It is obvious that King Anubis has chosen us, not solely on merit alone, but the strength of our spirit.

Tiger: ...I would have picked Kengo over Spike, to be honest.

Spike: JOE, I AM STANDING RIGHT HERE.

Rage: I would have personally given it to El Amante...

Spike: VAHNI, YOU HEEL!

Mr. Iron: I gotta' say fella's, this whole thing don't look great. I've fought some nasty heels in my time, but never one that...er...controls it.

Rage: I will confront any challenge. If this King Anubis claims to hold the power of his namesake, the Judge of the Dead, than I shall laugh in his face...and then BEAT IT to a bloody PULP.

Tiger: ...And get muscle busted so hard it shaves a year off your life? Only one of us is likely to win this, boys, but we need to go at it with a plan. This is more than just about winning the championship now. This is about...

Spike: Saving the world?

Tiger: I didn't want to say it.

Cian: And how they hell are we supposed to stop a feckin' god?

Spike: If Lily were here, she might be able to come up with a solution. She knows how glyphs work.

Mr. Iron: Then the best we can do is knock him the hell out. Seldom few glyphs can be controlled while unconscious.

Rage: Even the glyph of the Goddess Aethrin?

Tiger: Mr. Iron has a valid point as any. All we can do is land a K.O.

Cian: Again, lads, against a god?

Spike: He's not a god. And...I think he's just a good guy who let a little power get to his head.

Cian: A LITTLE?

Tiger: Your ability to see the good in others is truly the mark of a hero, Spike, but I'm afraid in this circumstance it could be considered naïve.

Rage: Which is all to say, jobbers, that I'll need to RIP HIS HEAD OFF.

Tiger: You've already done enough murder for one day, Rage.

Rage: I HAD NO CHOICE.

Mr. Iron: Muscle and magick alone is not going to be able to win this. I think of most matches like puzzles....

Spike: Mr. Iron, I get stumped by friggin' Highlights Hidden Picture Puzzles!

Cian: ...A puzzle, huh. 

Spike: Okay, I'm not very good at words...but. Here I go. If I had to stand at the end of the world with anybody, it would be you guys. My mentors. My rivals...and possible future lovers.

Cian/Rage: LOVERS, PLURAL?

Spike: I couldn't have gotten this far without your teaching and you challenging me. Or...in Rage's case, trying to kill me.

Rage: But did you die?

Spike: Joseph is right. I mean, he usually is. I don't deserve to be here among champs. Not yet. But I became a spellbreaker to show the world what a hero looks like. If I don't help save it, what does that make me?

Rage: ...A dead hero?

Spike: HEY, I'M TRYIN' HERE, WISE GUY! Anyways, I think we're all smart and strong and sexy enough that...we can do this.

Tiger: Your heroic speech in the face of supreme evil needs work, kid, but not a bad start.

Rage: The fact that I, the previous villain, am teaming up with you all to fight an even greater villain, suggests that we will need back-up plans upon back-up plans if we are to stand a chance against this King Anubis.

Cian: We have 45 minutes...

Mr. Iron: Kid, 45 minutes is tons of time. So, boys. let's talk...

Spike: And then, let's rumble.

---

Standing across from Vahni Rage, a god in his own right, King Anubis dwarfed the Warrior of Flames by a foot or more. King Anubis was a living, bronze colossus. His muscles and proportions bordered on inhuman--a stark contrast to the shining eyes sitting behind his intimidating mask, which sparkled with the pulse of life. 

Sadness. Desperation. Anger. Confidence. Arrogance. Kindness. Hope. Judgment. A million different emotions reflected in Salim's eyes. 

"So, you're first in the meat grinder," King Anubis said to Rage, tossing back his long braid, almost as tall as the rest of him. "Very good."

Rage, who had oiled himself up nicely for this fight, looked to Spike, standing at ringside. The blonde fighter nodded to him. Mr. Iron, White Tiger, Cian, waited behind Spike. How strange, it was, to have allies for once. Rage considered getting used to the idea.

Then again, becoming champion sounded a whole lot nicer. "I see there's no ref," Rage smirked, cracking his neck. "Last man standing? Anything goes?" Trying for intimidation, Rage bounced his pecs.

King Anubis stared at him for a few seconds, and then bounced his in return. 

Spike almost felt the earth shake, and had to bite his lip. Cian threw him a look. "Okay, so he has the biggest tits you and I have ever seen. We are NOT going to be attracted to the supreme evil, Spike."

King Anubis' laughter was deep and resonate, befitting an immortal of his might. "Oh yes. Let us bring about total destruction, Mighty Flame. A pity the world will not get to watch this match." King Anubis turned his head towards the bleachers, were the other spellbreakers watched with anticipation and horror. "Yet, it is a most worthy audience. Well, Rage. Shall we, d--"

Rage had already sprinted across the ring, throwing off heat and fire out as he did. He wouldn't give King Anubis a chance. He threw a heavy punch, and the fire off his fists burst forward like a projectile. The fire ball struck its mark, practically exploding that corner of the ring, causing the runes woven into the ropes to brighten as they absorbed the excess magick.

For a moment, Rage thought he'd incinerated the giant. Then, remembering what he'd done to Colt, he whipped around to aim another punch.

"Very clever," King Anubis said, grabbing Rage's fist and clamping down with ease. Rage's muscles tensed, and he clenched his jaw in agony. "I'd shatter your pathetic hand if I wanted to be boring, you half-baked heel."

Rage's eyes flashed red hot. "What...did...you...say?" He turned his head, sending himself alight. "You will BURN WITH ME!"

King Anubis responded by scooping Rage up, off the mat. "Nah," was all he said, as he jumped into the air, held Rage aloft, and then brought the whole weight of his body down--creating an impact that rocked not just the ring, but the earth itself.

A steaming crater formed in the center of the ring--its magicks repairing itself (and the soma's magick repairing Rage). Vahni Rage, body bent at an odd angle, twitched. His eyes rolled back into his head.

Spike and Cian both clutched their mouths, in horror. Not even a minute had passed since the match had started!

"Oh...you thought I was done?" King Anubis laughed, picking up Rage--by the head--and holding his limp body in front of him. "That's what you like to say to your jobbers, isn't it--spicy boy? How does it feel now...to be my plaything?" King Abubis flexed his bulging bicep with his free arm, veins popping out of his vasculature. "Bet that made your singlet twitch, eh, Sailorboy? Oh, and super cute look by the way."

Spike wasn't feeling his old manager's 'humor', however. He stared blankly ahead.

"Wow, no laughs? Hmm. I just wanted to entertain you, Spike." King Anubis looked down at Rage, swaying unconscious in his clutches. "Should we entertain them, Ragey?" King Anubis scooped up Rage again, onto his shoulders.

"No!" White Tiger cried out. "Don't!"

"Don't WHAT?" King Anubis called back, hopping up to the ropes. "I'm not gonna kill him! Well, not really. I mean, what's one year off your miserable life--Rage?"

King Anubis jumped into the air, his meaty hands compressing Rage's legs into his abs, body inverted, head on King Anubis' beefy neck....

A world where my family is safe and happy. I know, not what you were expecting, was it? Truth be told, I once believed in Semyon's vision--a world ruled by the strong. But I have been champion of Firebird long enough to know well these games of constant backstabbing. Champions get old, only to be dethroned by the new blood. Rinse. Repeat. How exhausting, these ceaseless wrestling match. A world of the strong? Hah! It would never last. The powerful would destroy themselves, consuming each other like rats without a food source--the weak. Sounds dreadfully dull, to me.

I would desire something so much simpler. King Anubis, you can do what you will. I just want my family to be safe, happy. I think I would also like a lover. Someone who looks up to me like the god of fire that I am. I would protect him. Possess him utterly. Give him the world. I would be his king, forever. But...he better challenge me too. Yes, I don't want a door mat. I want someone who I can fight. 

Save your conquest. I just want to protect what I love, and I want nothing less than worship in return...

SLAM!

For a moment, Vahni Rage's hair went gray. His body no longer twitched. He was unconscious, knocked out for the first time in...well, since Spike.

King Anubis stood, hands gesturing out towards the audience---the 'worship me' pose that Rage was so found of doing post-wrecking his opponent. "Well. Am I not worthy of your adoration?"

King Anubis placed his foot on Rage's neck. "STAND FOR ME! OR I SNUFF YOUR GOD OF FLAMES."

The spellbreakers in the audience, listlessly got to their feet, in shame, bowing their heads.

Spike spat on the ground. He's even worse than Rage.

King Anubis crossed his arms over his chest, laughing mockingly. He looked down and rolled rag-doll Rage over once, then twice, pushing him out of the ring. "Out of my court PEASENT!" he spat. "Ohhhhh...I bet the folks at home have been waiting to see that for a very long time."

---

A geyser of dark water from the right. A cyclone of snowy wind from the left. Both converged on King Anubis. 

The giant merely stopped time and walked out of their way. "Pathetic."

But White Tiger, clad in special tights of gold and black stripes, smiled.

Knowing he would freeze time, as he had done before, Joseph tossed up a wall of water and mist, blanketing the ring in fog. He sped off...

"Hmmm?" King Anubis looked around the deep cloud bank. "Well, well. You don't disappoint me, champion. Unlike Rage, you at least make things interesting."

White Tiger crept silently along the ropes, like the stalking cat of his namesake. He knew he had only once chance. If King Anubis couldn't see him, then he couldn't activate his powers--Joseph had already calculated them during Rage's fight, and had share the information with Spike, Cian, and Iron. 

Five seconds. That's all King Anubis could manage.

It would be enough. Tiger positioned himself, locked onto his target, and leapt into the air with grace and agility, aiming his foot right for King Anubis' head. Joseph used the power of his wind magick to silence his movements. It would take one hit. Nobody had yet survived a Tiger Typhoon Kick.

King Anubis turned around and plucked Joseph out of the air by his foot--like catching a paper plane. "Catch a tiger by the...what's it now?"

"GAH!"

White Tiger fell to the mat, painfully. He attempted to bridge his back and yank his foot away from King Anubis--but the man was much stronger than him...or any other spellbreaker for that matter. He had twisted him around, onto his back in an instant.

"Oh yeah," Anubis said, clamping his beefy arms around Tiger's leg. "TOE HOLD"

"Gahhhh!" Joseph screamed out. The brute was bound to twist and rip Joseph's foot right off his angle, boot and all. Not even the most vicious heel had caused Joseph so much agony before. He had prepared himself to heroically endure the savagery, and allow his body to knock him out from the pain, but not even he could withstand this vile submission technique...

I desire a world of justice and harmony. 

When my father was alive, he tried to create that world. He set out to protect the weak and punish those who would use power to supress them. He failed in his endeavour; was led astray. 

I promised myself that I would be better. 

I learned not to punish the guilty, but to defend the innocent. To stay the course of the former would only lead me down the path of men like King Anubis; men who feel it's their divine right to mete out judgment. I never want to be like that. 

I just want those in power held accountable. For justice to be truly blind. Mine is a world of law. Is it so hard to envision such a place? Perhaps...

Despite his best efforts, Joseph found himself tapping. He slammed his fist against the mat and clenched his teeth, eyes going distant. 

This was humiliating!

King Anubis only let go, slightly--but kept Tiger in his grip. The masked menace turned his head towards Spike. "Look upon your pathetic hero, Spike. Truly understand how powerful I am. And...despair." 

Joseph grimaced. The bastard wouldn't let go.

"Wait til you get in the ring with me, punk!" Spike spat back. "Pulling that s*** on me will--"

"Only make you more powerful? Hahaha. Of course, Sailorboy. I know how your glyph works. Do you think I'll even allow you to come within three inches of me, you adorable fool? Ugh. Stop, squirming, Tiger." 

King Anubis rose, dragging White Tiger off the mat with ease! Joseph hung half in the air, limply, trying to claw himself out of harms way. Anubis reached back and tucked Joseph's head between his tanker-truck quads. He could probably snap it off easily if he wanted to.

Instead, King Anubis went for his Judgment Driver. "WEAK!" King Anubis roared. Like a massive statue falling onto a mouse (or kitten, in this case) the beefy hulk brought his entire body down on top of Joseph's neck. "I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH MY GLORY."

White Tiger would live, of course. That was the blessing of soma. But in that moment, he had never been subjugated to such one-sided brutality before. To add insult to grievous injury, King Anubis sat back on top of Tiger's chest, using his unconscious body as a throne, once again crossing his arms in triumph.

"Comfy!" he said. "Maybe I'll stay here on my new throne for awhile. Hehe. But I guess you have to breathe, don't you? And I wouldn't want to destroy everyone's favorite hero. I mean, think of all the kids that would cry! Seems more a pain in the ass than it's worth, for me..."

Kin Anubis sat up. For White Tiger, he was more amicable, scooping up his limp body and carrying him over to the side of the ring, where he dropped him on the soft cushioning set up outside. El Amante and Gio scrambled to retrieve his unconscious body and make sure he was alright.

Spike leered at the man he once called a friend, this sadistic 'so-called god' preening before him. "Next?" King Anubis laughed.

Spike placed his hands on the ring, ready to pull himself up--but the hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Wait."

Spike looked back at Cian. For this match, they'd agreed to 'swap' styles. After much encouragement, Cian had chosen to wear black trunks (marked with his green, Celtic-inspired logo). They were snug. Cian was a beefy, thick boy--something that had made him a bit shy to wear something so revealing. 

Now, however, Cian felt more powerful than ever. "Lave him to me," Cian sad, with confidence. His eyes sparkled with power.

Spike, dressed in low-cut, Navy blue butcher singlet (that somehow looked even more revealing than his usual briefs) balked. "Dude, he'll smear you."

"And he won't smear you? Stick to the plan, Sailor."

Behind them, King Anubis laughed. "Are you two girlies fighting? Honestly, your rivalry is so cute. Get a room already!"

Spike blushed. Cian raged. He pushed back Spike and entered the ring. He'd face him, with our without his friend's consent.

Cian had never looked so deadly serious before. He stared ahead. "Just one question before we do this," he said.

King Anubis placed his hand on his masked face, annoyed. "Ugh. Fine. Yes?"

"How come the Genesis Glyph didn't turn you into er...a gross blob monster like Semyon?"

"Oh!" King Anubis sounded grateful for the question, and even took a cross-legged seat in the center of the ring. It was almost a taunt--the man knew Cian wouldn't dare try and attack him while seated. 

"Well, gee, Faeblood--that is a good question. You should give yourself more credit. You're a good kid. That won't stop me from breaking every last bone in your body, but I thought you should know that. But, if I may throw out this needless bit of exposition midway through what's probably this story's denouement..."

Using his powers of creation, Anubis conjured up illuminated symbols in the air to illustrate his lesson.

"Semyon was born with the double glyphs of 'Death' and 'Life'. This unique combination allowed his cells to regenerate constantly, and keep his body healthy and alive--though clearly not attractive--provided he didn't suffer any mortal wound. Or, you know, have his heart ripped off by a big, beefy, long-haired heel."

He snapped his fingers. The symbols vanished into smoke. "Unfortunately, said blessing was also his downfall. Nobody on Earth can sustain a third glyph. Let alone sustain the most powerful one of all. Semyon's glyphs of Life and Death were enhanced by the glyph of Creation--his cells going into hyperdrive, constantly writing and rewriting his DNA. Hence, the Cronenberg.

"My glyph however--super special and awesome as it is--is just the singular one I own. And, it also allowed me to time-freeze the more...unstable aspects of the Genesis glyph. I can use it in perpetuity. Fitting for a god, no?" The giant rose, casting a long shadow over Cian. "Anyways, get over here so I can BREAK THAT CUTE FACE OF YOURS."

Cian sneered. He knew better than to try and make the first move. "Which face?" he said, as emerald green light surrounded his bulky build, dividing Cian into two versions of himself.

"Clever girl," King Anubis said--and per usual, he sounded more excited than concerned.

The two Cians ran the rings around him, bouncing off the ropes. King Anubis stood there, watching, waiting. In a flash, the giant spellbreaker threw his arms around one of the Cian's.

"GOT YOU--"

The wrong one. The illusory Cian stuck out his tongue before vanishing into particles of green light. King Anubis was unbothered. "What do you think you'll do if you catch me, kid? You think you can power bomb 400s pounds of Egyptian god?"

"Nope," Cian said, cheerfully, as he divided himself again and again, Cian doubles forming a circle around his target. "And I don't have to. Oh, and I fixed that little issue with the shadow too."

King Anubis tightened his fist. "You're just delaying the inevitable. And I AM inevitable, Faeblood."

Ringside, Mr. Iron beamed with pride. "Atta' boy, Cian."

The Cian clones closed in on King Anubis, standing like a Obelisk in the desert, immovable and exuding a regal aura of mystery. "Your magick is strong, Cian. Truly, commendable. I knew I picked you for a reason. But..."

Suddenly, King Anubis whipped around and dug his fingers into Cian's head with his claws, putting him in a tight grip. Cian's eyes immediately bugged out, and he fell to his knees in pain, his doubles mirroring his anguish as they vanished into sparks of light carried on the ring.

"Gah..." Cian gurgled, with King's tight fingers clawing into his head. A trickle of blood ran down his forehead. He'd been opened up by the jackal's claw grip!

King Anubis turned to look into John Henry's citrine colored eyes. "Sorry, is this your move?" he asked, mockingly. "You wanna watch as a crack little Cian's head open with my jackal claws like a farm fresh egg?"

Cian swallowed, hand ready to signal his defeat...

Aw, what the bloody hell do I know about settin' the world straight? I

'm not the one to make a wish like that. I'm just a poor kid from County Meath who's had the s*** kicked out of him since the day he was born. 

F*** this supervillain wish fulfilment. You want to talk wishes? I'm all about making your own in the world--but if I had to wish for anything...I just want to be strong enough that nobody ever messes with me or my friends, or family again. I don't need power like King Anubis. I just need enough.

But what does 'enough' look like?

I also want something else too. I just wanna' rest my head on a swell guy, lay down together under a tree on a hot summer day and do nothin' at all. I don't know what he looks like. I don't have a face in mind. 

Hell, maybe he even looks like Spike. 

All I know is, he make me feel happy and safe and loved, and like I'm worth something. This past year, you may have thought I'd just been fightin'. That ain't all true. I been healin' too. 

And I'm not going to stop either now. I've got the blood o' the fae in my veins. You can't beat me, boyo!

Then, Cian smiled. "That...all you got?"

"Huh?" King Anubis looked down at this foe's smug face, half covered in blood. "I gave you a crimson mask and you're still asking for punishment." King Anubis dug in deeper, but drew back his fee hand, ready to strike. "Gotta' hand it to you kid, you got much bigger balls than Tiger or Rage. Makes sense. You're Cu Cullen's descendant aren't you? Dude had some big, brass ones if I ever saw some!"

King Anubis's fist collided with Cian's head at blinding speed. The audience, gasping in horror, was shocked not to see a tooth or two fly clean out of his haw.

Cian hit the mat. Painfully. Groaning. 

King Anubis loomed over him, straddling him and flexing his bicep to show off his complete and total domination. "That's a good boy, Cian. You let big Anubis put you to..."

"Yes...daddy."

"...What?"

"Harder...daddy." Cian moaned. And...not a pained sounding moan either. "Please. I've been a real bad boy."

"Pardon the f***?" King Anubis' eyes widened behind his mask. He looked up to see the audience, just as confused. "Enough of this silly s***. I won't let a mortal like you make a mockery OF ME!!!"

King Anubis slammed his giant fists into Cian's face. Again and again. Even John Henry, battle-hardened as he was, was tempted to look away. He was going to turn Cian into ground beef. John had to get in there now.

Then, he saw Spike, hands placed casually against the ring apron. More specifically, however, he saw Spike's faint smile...and his eyes.

I thought Yankee's eyes were blue. Since when have they been....green?

In the ring, Cian's face was near unrecognizable. Busted, bruised, swollen, and bloody. And still he said. "...That all a god's got? Heh. Wimp."

"GAAAAHHHH!" King Anubis had broken out into a sweat at this point. But he wouldn't let Cian get the last laugh. "That was quite a show, Cian! Very entertaining. Forget power moves. I'm gonna break your damn n--hey...what happened to your accent?"

Cian, what was left of Cian's face, looked up, smiling. In a flash, the damaged to his face was gone! "You like pop culture references, putz? How's about this one? You just fell for my trap card."

King Anubis reeled back, disgusted. "Ugh. Habibi, that's cringe...WHAT DID YOU JUST--"

"Heh." Cian sat up, glowing an eerie blue aura. The pupils of his eyes suddenly shifted, from black, to the fire-orange glare of a glyph...Spike's glyph. Shining like a beacon, Cian's face peeled away in a stream of light, revealing a much different visage.

King Anubis' eyes flashed to ringside, where Spike had been standing a moment earlier. Only, it wasn't Spike that watched him, but Cian! 

"Then..."

King Anubis looked down, into Spike's eyes. "Thanks for powering up my glyph, sexy," Spike said. He leaned up and pushed King's mask up, not only blinding him, but leaving his open mouth vulnerable and open for.

"By Goddess!" Mr. Iron shouted. "He's going for a lip lock."

Spike pressed his mouth over King Anubis, injecting him with a concussive blast of built up energy. It was enough to knock the hulk back onto his back. 

The other spellbreakers in the audience jumped to their feet in disbelief and excitement. "HOLLLLYY SSSHHHHH--"

Spike stood up, unbothered and unbroken, wiping a trail of spittle. "WOO! Never kissed a god before. I like it."

King Abubis lunged. He wouldn't be humiliated by this punk.

But he didn't get far. Spike round house kicked the beast right in his masked face, sending him FLYING right across the ring. 

In the stands, Gio's jaw dropped. "WHAAAAT?!"

Iggy's eyes welled up with tears. He pointed to the ring. "That's my mentee, everyone. Yes, yes, you can thank my stellar tutelage."

And Spike was just as surprised as everyone else, not entirely sure what he'd just done! He looked down at his arm, trembling with energy. His veins popped. He felt like he had an unlimited supply of strength and stamina inside, ready to tap into.

He'd need it.

King Anubis, splayed across the ropes, pulled himself up. Half his mask ripped off his face, his exposed mouth twisted itself from anguished grimace into confident sneer. "Beautiful. I haven't set eyes on such a powerful twink since Alexander the Great."

Spike spat on the ground. "Did you just sleep your way through the ancient world?"

"Oh, like you wouldn't?"

Spike blushed. "Okay, you got me there." But instead of holding out his fist, Spike extended his hand. "Salim. Sarapis. King Anubis. Whatever you prefer to be called. Stop fu***n' around and chill, okay, big guy? I'm your pal. We don't need to do this. You've already shown how powerful you are! You don't need a glyph to change the world, bud! Not with a mind and muscles like yours!"

Spike stepped forward. John Henry, tensed, watched him warily. Be very careful, Spike. The hero gimmick might not work this time.

"You can keep your belt." Spike said. His smile could break hearts, maybe even that of a god. "The world is just gettin' to know King Anubis, right? Let's go home, to the GSA, order some pizzas, and talk. You already saved the day, King! You're...a hero!"

King Anubis craned his head towards Spike (well, really, he looked down). His sneer faded, turning neutral. Spike remained steadfast. Everyone held their breath.

King Anubis tugged his mask down back over his face. "I wish...I wish it were that easy. But..."

The feared god threw out his hand and grabbed Spike's arm, dragging him closer into danger. He held him close. "I've come too far to give up. I WILL shape the world, Spike. You want in...?"

King gripped down on Spike's arm, hard, threatening to break it with sheer force. Spike reared his back and cried out in pain. 

"THEN FIGHT...." the muscle beast said, clutching Spike's beck and lifting him straight off the canvas, suspending him, watching his legs kick out as he choked him in mid-air.

"...TO YOUR LAST BREATH."

To Be Continued...

Monday, March 27, 2023

Chapter 2: Let's Do the Timewarp, Again

"Why are they doing this, father? I don't understand."

"Simple, my son. Hate."

"I'm afraid I do not understand."

It felt like a conversation Spike shouldn't have been listening in on. It didn't help that he felt nauseous (and, considering he was a non-corporeal consciousness witnessing an event that took place more than 500 years ago, this was quite the feat of anxiety). Spike had always though time travel--not exactly a concept the cheerful himbo had given much weight to before--would be like plopping down on a Hollywood movie set, like a cowboy western or prehistoric fantasy. Something like going to the amusement park or Renaissance fair.

The reality was viscerally realer than any of that. It grabbed Spike, in all the old things he had never taken into consideration about the past--the different shape of doors and their height, the smell of candle wax and incense, the size and shape of people and their clothing. It was too real. Salim had kindly mentioned to Spike that he might experience some psychological effects from viewing past events, but Spike hadn't considered the raw intensity. It was like being inside someone's else dream, only more vivid than one's own reveries.

The first thing Spike realized was how damn dark everything was, even in the daylight. The wooden panelling and dark furniture in the room only added to the sombre state of of the palace. It was also nearly empty. Almost all the guards and occupants had either taken to defending the gates, or had fled into the recesses. The boy and man waiting at the arched window were the first stationary occupants Salim and Spike had come upon. Judging from their clothing and noble presence, Spike took them for a king and prince.

The man and boy looked out onto a walled city and its steeples, some already ablaze and smoking black. 

Spike had never seen Salim so severe and focused. The candlelight caught in his emerald green eyes, and the shadows playing across his face gave him the appearance of an angel (or demon) from one of the many religious paintings hanging on the wall. Spike felt alien, here, among the past, as well as with this man. 

I want to go home, Spike thought, but dared not speak it aloud. Salim was his only chance at returning to the GSA. Besides, answering the hero's call was the living destiny of any good babyface and (possible) future champ. Spike couldn't back down from a summons like that, especially from his former manager.

The boy had asked his father why the hordes of angry men, eager to spill the blood of every woman, child, and man inside the gates of the city, hated them. Spike had never considered a question like that, before, as it related to warfare. Having served in the military, Spike always assumed his country's enemies were in the wrong. Much had changed since his time in the Navy, of course, and Spike's horizons had been broadened, viewpoints and situations of other cultures considered. His reality had become more complex, and for the better. There was nothing simple about war.

But here was a small boy asking the question not Spike nor any of his fellow officers had considered: what is the essence of hatred, and why does it drive people?

The wizened King's brow furrowed. "They envy our glory," he said, sadly. "And...they resent our power."

The prince frowned. He looked sickened by the thought. Spike thought the young man reminded him of someone else. Having walked past scurrying peasants and knights on the way to the room, Spike marvelled at how much shorter everyone was in the past--which is to say, he was finally the average height of all the men around him. But not this child, who--physically no more than ten years of age--was already near his father's height. 

That long face. Intense, wide eyes. Black hair...

"But haven't we given them food?" the boy suggested, as if somehow this was the spell that might change the hearts of the angry pillagers at the gates. "Sheltered them?"

"Indeed, my son. All we asked was for their obedience. But it seems that is not enough. Now, look at them. Lashing out like mongrels, biting the hand of the master who's fed them since this castle stood tall. This is the way of the world, son. Always maintain your position, at all costs, and cull those that would rise against you. This is what it means to rule."

Suddenly, the wind--the flicker of flames--the dust motes in the from froze.

"Ew!"

Spike's eyes darted towards Salim. "Did...did you make time stop!"

"Blegh!" The giant man made a face. "Gross. Talk about toxic masculinity."

Spike twisted his mouth. "Mmm. I'm not what you'd call the wisest guy in the room, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess 13th century Russia wasn't the most in touch with their emotions. Kinda' reminds me of your story. With Egypt and the Pharaohs and whatnot."

"Oh yeah, that's the thing--it's an old story." Salim glared at the king. "One that seems to repeat throughout history. Like a bad disease."

Spike looked over at the king and child. "The strongest deciding what's best for the weak and then crushing them when they fight back? Sounds like Vahni Rage. I don't like bullies."

"Because you know what it's like to be bullied," Salim shrugged. He noticed a stack of tomes on the table. Whoever these people were, they were well read. "I mean sure, you're a blonde, blue eyed, 'All-American' twink. But you're also a queer man who grew up poor and abandoned."

"You don't have to remind me..."

"Spike, I'm saying you're not a dick because you managed to harbor some ounce of humanity, empathy, and compassion." Salim pointed to the king. "This? This is, as you so wisely put it, how you create Vahni Rages. Or the Imperators of Alban. Or anybody else who thinks they can kick a dog for long enough and the pretend to be shocked when it bites back. Whatever force brought us here, it wants us to know that this place is bad news." Salim sniffed, crossing his arms. "Still trying to figure out why though. Why this place?"

"I don't friggin know, S! This is my first time...in...time." Spike scratched his head and pointed to the prince. "That kid, though. He gives me the creeps."

"Yeah, well, look at dear old dad. You think the people out there wanted to burn his castle down because they were bored? I'm hiding a lot of horror from you, Spike. I bet if you went down to that city down there, you'd see the full extent of this tyrant's rule. Men like that are all the same. I mean, trust me, I come from Ptolemaic Egypt, they're all ass****."

As Spike meditated on that thought, a wind kicked up. He turned to face the window, but a sudden bloom of light turned his face away from the bright glare. "Agh, what the hell is goin' on?"

"Time is shifting. Easy way to move about in the past. Don't even have to do any walking!"

Spike went to say something, but found himself standing amid a strange pile of clothes laying across a stone floor. Confused, he looked closer.

No, not clothes, bodies, wet with the flow of blood. 

Spike leaned back and wretched. Thankfully, Salm 'caught' him. "It's ok," Salim said. "Remember, this isn't real."

"Pretty friggin' real to me," Spike blanched. "I don't...I don't want to see this."

"Small friend, weren't you in the Navy? You had to have seen some nasty things, even when not in active wartime."

Spike looked away from the corpse pile, trying not to freak out. "Yeah, but it doesn't make it easy," he said, trying to step over the bodies of knights and fallen servants. Instead, he made matters worse. His line of sight connected with an arguably more horrific display.

In the corner of the audience chamber, the tall child bent over his father's body, splayed grotesquely across his throne, stained with still-dripping blood. The boy protected his father--still, barely alive--from the faceless man with the long, bloody sword.

"We did nothing to you!" the boy shrieked, his voice cracking. "Why do this to us!? Why do you hate us?"

From the throne, the dying king held up a trembling hand. "Koschei...my son."

At hearing his father's name, the boy turned--as he did, his assailant ran him through with the sword.

Spike doubled over. "No. No. NO. Salim, I don't want to see this. Take me home."

"Spike...maybe you do. The kid is...okay?"

Spike took a risk and opened his eyes. The child stood, just as shocked as his invisible audience, as he looked at the sword in his chest. He pulled it out, wincing, as his attacker muttered a prayer (or curse) and ran whence he came. The wound in the young prince's chest sealed itself over. Spike could see the pristine flesh through the hole in the boy's embroidered tunic torn open by the sword.

The king on the throne reached up towards the boy, weakly. "So...the augers were right. You are touched by Life, and by Death. My son, take what's left of my strength. I pass my gifts on to you."

Bewildered, the boy--Koschei--tried to tear himself away from his father's grasp. A crystalline, white energy flowed from the king into the child, for a second or two--and then the man fell still.

Spike covered his mouth. "I don't want to see what happens next," he said. He didn't want to see the boy's grief, that is.

Salim was gentle. "Then, we won't." He waved his hand. The scene froze. The giant allowed his young traveller a few moments to collect himself. "I told you the past wasn't pleasant."

"No s***," Spike said, holding back a sob. He shook his head. "That name, though. It's weird. There was this old story Sister Patience used to read me that had that name."

"What? What did you say? Spike, I know you're in shock, but try to remember."

Now, Spike felt put on the spot. "Well, yeah, it's from a fairy tale. Back in the orphanage, Sister Patience would read us fairy tales from all over the world. She made a point to tell us where each one was from, every time. I remember a lot of the Russian ones because the drawings were really pretty. Vasilisa the Wise. Sir Ivan. Baba Yaga. And then Koschei, the Deathless. He was a big, scary kind of boogieman guy that couldn't die. I think he was even based off an old king who really lived, long ago."

Spike and Salim slowly turned their heads towards the gaunt, tall, boy, illuminated by the glow of frozen torch fire. 

"Ok, but it's not like that's the same guy, right?" Spike laughed, nervously. 

Salim, however, was stone-cold. "I wouldn't be so sure, Spike. And...not to invalidate your emotions, but maybe let's not feel so much pity for Edgar Allen Poe over here."

"Harsh," Spike said, though he had little room to argue with the giant man who controlled time. "Come on, S. Have a heart."

"I'm merely stating, young one--tyrants beget tyrants. I have...an unusual feeling about this boy. Oh, by the way, if you hadn't already notice...we're now standing somewhere else."

Spike had only blinked, but already the room had changed (thank Goddess). Where the stood now was a much grander, wider space, but no less eerie. A high vaulted ceiling, like a church, loomed over head. The floor was tiled in marble black and white. A statue of a woman, most likely the Goddess, stood at the focal point of the room. The statue was more of a colossus; a massive carving both impressive and imposing. 

At the foot of the statue sat a large pool of water, or dark liquid, in a stone basin. A man, dressed all in black, with a trailing robe, leaned over its edge and stared intently at the dark mirror.

Spike sighed. This was beginning to feel like a dark ride at an amusement park. "Where the hell are we now, big guy? Somewhere with a little less trauma, I hope."

"Don't count on it." Salim shook his head, eyes adjusting to an even dimmer space. "Hmm." Carefully, he approached a pane-less window carved into the side of the circular room. "Still Russia, but..." He looked out, into a gray world dappled with snowfall. Spike joined his side.

"Wow," Spike exclaimed, taking in the grandeur of the steepled towers and cobblestone streets. "Looks like something out of a fairy tale." He narrowed his eyes. "Wait, I've seen this place before!"

"Yes, you have."

"But, y'know...ruined."

Salim stepped back from the window. His expression was a mix of shock and intrigue. "Gods," he muttered under his breath. "Yes, you have indeed, habibi. This is the city of Kitezh. The very place where the World Championships are meant to be held."

The floor trembled beneath their feet. What started as a mere vibration, erupted into a tremor, like walking over subway grating as a train passed beneath--or so Spike thought. From outside came the peel of bells, not just from one resonate belfry, but several belltowers in unison. It was a cacophony. Painful.

Salim looked towards the man in back, and at the strange pool, which had begun glowing with an iridescent vibrance. "And, I daresay, this might be the day Kitezh took a dip for a very long time." He waved his hand, and the room quieted. "Let me turn the volume down on those bells. Not exactly a pleasant sound."

Spike was grateful for it.

A wooden door, abruptly thrown open, drew all eyes towards a curtain of light cutting across the grand floor. The winter sun flooded through the opening, and a dark skinned woman in monastic robes, with long black hair, rushed intro the room. She was slight, with narrow features, and covered in sweat. Spike was concerned for her health, then remembered this woman had likely died 400 years or more before his birth.

"Mongolian," Salim whispered to Spike. "She's from the Khannite. But her robes..."

"Magi?" Spike asked, quietly, before he remembered nobody else could hear them.

"Most definitely. And old magick, too." He narrowed his eyes at the great statue and pool. "Whatever's going on here, I don't like it."

The young woman nearly collapsed at the man's side. Though the man didn't move his head (still singularly focused on the dark water, as he was) his hand moved to place itself on the woman's head. It wasn't a suggestive gesture, but tender, assuring. 

"The ritual is nearly complete," the man said. "The power of the Goddess, at hand..." His head turned towards one of the rooms many windows. "And yet, once again, the wolves are at the door. They always come, in the end."

Salim's eyes snapped open. "Batu Khan. Of course. This is the day Kitezh was invaded."

"And then sunk beneath the lake," Spike remembered, from the story. He gasped. "LIKE ATLANTA!?"

"...You mean Atlantis, probably, but yes."

The woman rose from the floor. Whoever she was, the man in black considered her either an equal, or a highly trusted subordinate. "My lord, I beg you. I pray. This magick will not work without the blessings of the Chalices. We must delay."

"Delay!? Tell that to Batu Khan," the dark man sneered. "These Mongels. Always, the same story. Always, the same. This ends, today."

Spike whipped his head towards Salim. "Wait, is that like, the same guy? The creepy kid we just saw?"

Salim smiled. "Can't call yourself a himbo anymore, Spike. You're quick on the uptake. I knew I could count on you, small friend."

"I...didn't do anything, but thanks, I guess."

"Lord Koschei," the woman said, her voice cracking. She was exhausted. "They haven't come to invade."

The sinister man waved a hand across the surface of the pool. Spike noticed, with each peel of a bell, that an image shifted at the bottom of the pool. He tried to get a closer look, and upon inspection, identified the glowing pictograms in the water as the symbols of the glyphs.

"Don't be foolish, child. What else do these hoards do but pillage and burn? We knew the Khan would come for Kitezh, eventually" 

The man turned his head, in profile. Sunken, eerie eyes. Long, black hair. Unkempt beard. 

Spike's heart (metaphorically speaking) dropped. "Wait. Salim...that's..."

But he was cut off short by the magi in the gray robe. "I can tell you this is the truth, my Lord, because the Khan sent a messenger ahead telling everyone to lay down arms and evacuate. The Mongels seldom offer such mercy. They came because they know what you are doing here, attempting to take the Goddess's own glyph as your own. My Lord, they intend to stop it--for the sake of the world. For sanity." She sounded on the verge of tears.

The monk in black retracted his hand. He looked at the woman, first, in horror, then in rage. Spike thought he might raise a fist against her. "AND WHO TOLD THEM?" Thankfully, instead of harming her, the man turned away out of disgust. "Then I must hasten the enchantment. If you value your life, you'll flee. NOW."

The woman fell back, shielding her eyes from the pool of light as its glow intensified. "Lord Koschei...please...come with me."

Whether or not he answered her, Spike could not hear. All other sound was drowned out by a sickening crack. An obvious fissure split the statue of the goddess down the middle. Its head snapped off, landing in the pool and sending its luminous water splashing over the floor.

Spike jumped back out of shock. "Damn it!"

"Remember," Salim said, "these are ghosts and nothing more. These visions are troubling, but they cannot hurt you."

The dark man grit his teeth, and made a sign in the air at the last moment, the water travelling around him as if he was a rock in a river. His accomplice was not so lucky. The water splashed over her, soaking her robes wet--and though there was no change at first, she looked down in horror at her hands.

The sound of bells intensifying drowned out the woman's screams as her hand was suddenly transformed into a blossom of wildflowers. The rest of her body followed, her skin becoming like bark, conjoining with her robes. Her body twisted itself into the shape of a moss covered tree, dripping with beautiful blooms. Spike, aghast, looked away.

"The bells," he heard the dark monk scream. "The bells! Not yet! It's not ready...oh no. Goddess forgive me, what have--"

And then, through the open windows, came a rush of oncoming water. Spike held his hand in front of his eyes as the tide overtook the room.

When next he looked, he was standing in a room filled with scent of tobacco. Velvet carpet. Mahogany table. Candelabrum. And an electric chandelier. Wherever they'd travelled, it was much closer to Spike and Salim's current time than not.

Spike's mind still reeled from what he'd just witnessed, but he was relieved to be away from the dreadful chamber. That woman. That city. This was like a sequence of nightmares, wherein at the moment of horror, Spike was jolted into the next. 

"OKAY," the young fighter started on Salim, who looked entirely too composed for Spike's comfort. "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED, SALIM?"

"Disgusting," Salim said, his nose upturned. He looked down at the plate on the table in front of him. "Olivier Salad? Ew. Who serves this stuff? It's nasty."

Spike was crestfallen. How could this man act so nonchalant after what they'd just seen? Was this what it was always like for Salim--the real Salim, the man called Sarapis? Did one just become immune to human pain and catastrophe after living so long? That aside, Spike needed confirmation. He needed to make sure he hadn't mistook the dark monk in Kitezh for...

"A toast," said the somewhat foppish, well-dressed gentleman at the head of the table, rising a glass of Madeira wine. "To the health of our Tsar's loyal advisor."

Spike was still so focused on the chaos he'd witnessed, that he barely registered all the gentleman sitting around the table. There was the well-groomed man, yes, and some rather intense-looking associates. But it was who sat at the opposite end of the table that caught his eye.

Sitting with his hands folded, the monk's manner of dress was not different than therobes in the chapel of Kitezh. Indeed, the beard and hair was much the same. His wide eyes scanned the room.

"Advisor to the Tsar," Salim sneered, folding his arms. He took the scene as if it were nothing but a movie (which, in a sense, it was). "Get a loud of this clown. Do you know who this is?"

Prince Yusupov nodded to his esteemed guest. "To Father Rasputin! Long may he live."

Spike's (again, metaphorical) jaw dropped. "Wait, you're telling me that Semyon, the President of Firebird, is--"

Salim responded by clapping his hands rhythmically. "Russia's greatest Love Machine? OH LIKE IT WASN'T OBVIOUS, SPIKE."

Now, Spike really did feel like passing out. "I...want to go home."

At the head of the table, Semyon, Koschei, Rasputin, whatever his name was, took a drink. He made a face. 

"This wine...tastes....peculiar." He then shrugged and placed the empty glass at the table. "I will have another."

The men in the room looked at each other, concerned. 

"They're trying to poison him," Salim said out of the corner of his mouth. "Actually, they already poisoned him. If I recall, he's gotten two or three tea-cakes worth of cyanide in him already."

"DEADASS?!" Spike blurted out.

Salim pointed to their long-time nemesis. "His ass is gonna need a lot more poison tonight before it's dead, actually. We just watched the man survive a magical apocalypse, Spike. Do try to keep up, habibi." Salim waved his hand and the scene shifted again. "Hope you aren't squeamish."

"YOU LITERALLY KNOW I AM!"

In a darker room, a basement, Semyon pressed his back against the wall--looking not too concerned about his present set of circumstances--as a slightly dishevelled, drunken Felix Yusupov pointed a revolver at him. "I send you to the Goddess now, mad monk," he snarled. "Or better, The Adversary!"

Salim turned to Spike. "In other dimensions they call it 'the devil'. Comes off more intimidating."

BANG!

"LADY LEITHE AND MOTHER AETHRIN!" Spike screamed, as the puff of smoke discharged from the gun. Against the wall, Semyon doubled over, glancing down at the river of blood leaking from his stomach. He fell.

"I hate when that happens," Salim sniffed. "Seriously, getting shot sucks. But Semyon's kind of a wuss, to be honest. Try getting pumped full of fire from several AK47s like I did the other week."

"No thanks. AND YOU WHAT?"

Felix lowered the gun and sighed. "Thank the Mother," he said, wiping his brow with a kerchief. He re-holstered the gun and approached the corpse. "Rot in hell, you perverted monk."

Suddenly, Semyon popped up with a roar and grabbed at the Prince's ankles. "GAAAAAH!!!!"

The Prince squealed (as did Spike). But before Semyon could do anything, the Prince's men--waiting in the shadows, jumped at the monk. Spike caught a flash of metal, a knife, before Salim covered his eyes with his large hands and shifted the scene yet again, to a stone bridge overlooking any ice river.

"I can't watch." Spike said, thankful he was not in his physical body. He looked out over the river, at the lights of Moscow. Was it always winter in this damn country? "Oh...thanks."

Salim rolled his eyes. "You've broken men in half, and yet this makes you squeamish?" He stepped forward, pointing at the assembly of dark-clad men as they hoisted a tall object, shrouded in rages, over the side of the bridge. It landed in the icy water with a tremendous PLUNK. 

"I ain't broken anybody," Spike huffed. "Beat up? Yes. But everyone who fights me walks away not getting stabbed, or shot, or poisoned!"

"Gee, expand your spellbreaking horizons then, habibi."

Did he think this was funny?

"I spared you the gruesome details," Salim explained for Spike's benefit. "After being poisoned, shot, and then stabbed, the Prince and his goons had Rasputin castrated and threw his body into the river below."

Castrated!? "YOU MEAN, THEY CUT OFF HIS JUNK? How does this sorry KEEP getting worse?"

Salim ignored his young ward's outburst. "Regardless, I think you and I can both guess the rest. He obviously survived--no doubt due to his glyphs--and went on to become Semyon Grigorivich, a businessman and philanthropist. Sound familiar? Ugh, bitch even stole my angle."

Spike felt like screaming. He turned away from the bridge railing, into the cold, Moscow air. "This is friggin' nuts. You mean, the heads of both the GSA and Firebird are both old guys? Like really old?"

Salim frowned. "I think the word you're looking for is 'immortal', and it's more complicated than that. Nobody lives forever, Spike. Not even our kind. But magick has blessed us with both longevity, healing, and a means to prolong our life." He bit his lip. "Now, I will grant you it's...a little weird that two immortals, working from the shadows to achieve their goals, happened to get involved with what is, essentially, magickal pro wrestling, but for the sake of narrative convenience, let's just roll with it. You didn't come here for Shakespeare; you came here to watch hunks in their underwear beat each other and make out--"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO, SALIM; I WANT TO GO HOME!"

Spike's (very stern) command cut a deep silence across the Russian bridge. Salim's expression was inscrutable, but Spike was too agitated to be intimidated. He breathed heavily. "I'm so sick of all of this! I'm tired. I'm stressed. I haven't gotten laid in like, two weeks! Which is a lot, for me, you know! And after all this crap, I'm never gonna' want to see the Russian ballet again."

Salim gave Spike a bemused look.

Spike continued. "The life I wanted to lead, the happiness that I had, or whatever, was taken from me because I tried to romance the boss' kid. I just want to go back home, work in my stupid pizza restaurant, get drunk, sleep around, and forget about saving the world and the life, love, and friends I'll never see again."

Spike felt the tears threaten to break through, but the last thing he'd give to Salim, his old manager, was his pride. He turned away instead.

"That doesn't sound very heroic."

"No, but it's true, Salim. I'm too tired to play hero any more." 

Finally, Salim put his hand on where Spike's shoulder might have sat. "I understand. I think I have any idea of where we need to go n--"

"No!" Spike pushed himself away, channelling magick that would not materialize. "I'm going home." He turned and ran the opposite direction. Surely, Salim, or King Anubis, or whoever he was, had a limit to his abilities. Though truthfully, Spike didn't much care where he ended up. Maybe he'd be stranded in another time or place. At least it wouldn't be the present he dreaded so much.

Maybe I'll get lucky and wind up in ancient Greece. I'll sleep with a bunch of sexy gladiators and then become Emperor by the time Saturday rolls around.

"You're running from your own fate, Spike. Come herRRRrRRrRRRR...."

The world blurred and Spike's vision tunnelled. He wobbled, uncertain of footing or space, before he found his stomach drop and he fell into nothing.

When he forced himself to stop screaming, Spike opened his eyes and found himself in a very familiar setting. Sterile room. Sound of an EKG. He was back in the hospital room in India, where the doctors had treated him and Vahni Rage post match. 

Maybe it had all been a long, strange, vivid dream. Spike seized on the optimistic tinge of relief. Then, eyes falling across the two beds in-room, his hope crumbled. He was staring at himself, laying in bed. Next to the other 'him', Rage.

He was still in the past, though one far more recent.

"NOW--PLAY THE MUSIC!"

"WHAAAT?"